"Tough Love" was the name of a book that I caught my parents reading when I was a teen and, of course, I ridiculed them for it. After all, I didn't need tough love.
What do you think when you hear the expression "tough love?" I can't remember what my first thoughts were when I heard the expression, but I know what my thoughts and feelings are now! And, yes, I will share those thoughts and feelings with you.
Its difficult to write this post as I have a current issue in my life that is causing me distress and I do not want to get into specific details, in order to protect the "innocent." Blogging is not like Facebook in that you cannot block others from seeing your profile. No, this blog is open to the world.
In referring to tough love, I am not referring to the teen boot camps that were shown on TV a few years ago and have become somewhat controversial. I'm referring to refusing to continue to enable someone to continue on a path of self-destruction. It is one thing to help a person out if help is genuinely wanted and the person is sincerely hoping to make a turn-around in their lives. Or, if the person has already made a commitment to change. Using alcoholism or drug addiction as an example, I would insist that the addict be sober for a certain period of time before helping them financially, or in any way. There are plenty of professionals whose role it is to provide assistance to those who seek it out.
So where do we draw the line when offering assistance to those we love who are hell-bent on a lifestyle that is neither safe nor healthy? Do we continue to bail them out or do we simply say "enough is enough" and let them hit rock-bottom, make a change, and then help them? Distancing oneself from a loved one and allowing them to self-destruct is not easy; the tendency is always there to step in an help out. How do we stop ourselves when helping would only enable the behavior?
As always, your comments are welcome, and I will respond to them.
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