Ten Things I Learned in 2010

Note:  The idea for the topic of this blog is not my own.  Cindy Froese was the originator of this idea.  She wrote a wonderful post which made me think long and hard about 2010 and what I had learned.  After asking her permission to copy her idea, here's what I learned in 2010. Some lessons were learned in a positive manner, others were learned from negative consequences; not all lessons learned were pleasant.  Some caused a great deal of inner turmoil. 

1. I learned that Kev is truly the most important aspect of my life at this point in time.  My #1 goal for 2010 was to provide him with a loving and stable home environment, and I believe I have been able to do so.  The rewards for this have been endless.  He's a bright, charming and energetic little boy who has his "moments" like any other toddler, but is happy and cheerful the majority of the time.
2. Taking care of myself is vitally important, and should sometimes take precedence over #1.  If I'm not healthy and well, I can't work and can't provide for Kev financially or emotionally.  I am referring to my physical health and my emotional and mental health.  I've been ignoring the need to place a priority on my health and its showing up as health concerns and weight gain.  
3. A woman's intuition is to be trusted.  And I am obviously making reference to my intuition which I ignored and ignored some more during the earlier half of the year.  That came back to bite me in the ass and taught me this very important lesson.  Its a lesson I won't soon forget. If you think someone is not being honest with you, and your gut tells you they are lying, believe your gut.  There are numerous clues that your subconscious notices that your conscious self does not pick up on.  That is essentially what intuition is. 
4. Doing the right thing sometimes causes a lot of heartache and pain.  Not sure how much I want to elaborate on this one, though.  Its a sensitive topic for someone I love dearly.
5. I'm not as independent as I thought I was.  I'm actually quite lonely. How much do I need to explain this lesson?  I'm lonely for the company of an adult male as a romantic partner, spouse, boyfriend, whatever.  And this came as a surprise to me as I always thought of myself as independent to the point where I would never want to be involved in another relationship.  But there is a very strong desire to share my life with someone who loves me as a woman, not as a mother or grandmother, daughter or sister.  But let me clarify that I am not lonely enough to make anymore foolish or rash choices when it comes to a partner.  For example, I'm not hanging out in bars and hoping to meet Mr. Right, and I'm not settling for the first guy that comes along.  This is gonna take some more work than that. 
6. Help and support can come from the most unexpected sources.  When I had to make that emergency trip to Quebec to "retrieve" Jen, moral support came from co-workers, cousins, and a nephew.  The ones I expected to receive the most support from, were not forthcoming in anyway with moral support or any other support.  This made me question the value and loyalty of those closest to me at the time. For those who listened, prayed, and sent words of encouragement, thank you.  You will long be valued as friends.
7. People can lie to you without saying a word.  Omitting to tell you something critically important is virtually the same as lying.  These particular instances involved simply not telling me information that would have affected choices I made and the company I chose to keep.  This is another one of those difficult lessons to learn and has greatly affected a close friendship.
8. When having an issue with a co-worker, it is almost always better to go directly to the source than to go over their head to management.  Approach the person tactfully and respectfully, giving them the benefit of the doubt and discuss concerns you may have.  A lesson learned and heeded.
9. Be true to yourself and be yourself.  Do not listen to the well-meaning manager that tells you that you need to "tone down" your personality in order to fit in with a group of co-workers.  If people do not like who you are, then perhaps they are not the right group of people for you.  The nurses in Emerg at Bethesda are a wonderful group of nurses, very professional and very good at their job and I would literally trust them with my life.  However, my personality was not a good fit with this group.  But I did find a good fit on NU1 Medicine, and again on Rehab (where I've taken a temporary position).  I tried to "tone down" my personality in order to fit in with the Emerg department nurses to no avail.  I became miserable and unhappy and quite possibly a bit depressed.  To the manager who told me to "tone it down," you didn't do me any favors and that was horrible advice.  Be yourself and those who are meant to be in your life will find you.  
10. Running away from home is sometimes a good thing.  Taking time away from those you love the most should not be cause for guilt or shame.  It is a time to regroup and rediscover who YOU are.  So when my Facebook status says I'm running away from home, it usually only means for an hour or two or for the evening.  Although, I'd like to run away from home for a week to a warm sandy beach with a romantic partner sometime.  

So, lessons learned in 2010 . . . some good and easy to learn.  Some not so easy.  I've had to make some mistakes over and over and over again in my life.  I'd like to think I'd finally learned the above lessons.