Perfection

I'm not perfect and you're not perfect. No one is. So why do we demand perfection of ourselves? Why do we beat ourselves up when we fall short of perfection?

It's great to strive to improve on a continual basis; without growth, we stagnate and die. Not in the literal sense, of course. But each day that we're alive and breathing, we need to improve upon ourselves from the day before; each rising sun gives us the opportunity to start fresh.

Why I felt compelled to write about perfection tonight, I'll never know. What I do know that is the past few weeks I've let my mind and pen write a lot without any type of censorship. So when my mind gives me the nudge to write about a particular topic or person or situation, I pay attention, pick up my pen, and write. To some that may seem a bit wishy-washy; that's okay, I'm not writing this for you.

If you're a FB friend, you'll have noticed that I went for four (4) coffee dates in two days, two of which were with my mom and likely should not count. But it's never just me and my mom. Family and friends nearly always join us.

I was sort of dreading these "coffee" dates, as I sometimes tend to shrink back into my "hermit-zone" when things are not going well. However, I made myself go to each date, and I'm not sorry I did so. It's good for us to push past our comfort zones and get a bit uncomfortable on occasion. In this case I knew I needed to give myself a little nudge and spend some time with adults, communicating about grown-up things.

We all are familiar with the expression that things happen for a reason, etc. these coffee dates were no exception. With each person I sat down with and communicated, I learned more about them, and had new insights into my own
mind.

My two years working in rural nursing have not been kind to me, nor have I been kind to it, or to myself. I've lost the passion I once had for nursing as a result of the move to rural nursing. This disappoints me greatly! It took having coffee with a dear friend and co-worker for me to realize that this is not the fault of rural nursing. Things happen for a reason, but I'm really struggling with understanding this one!

Coffee #2 was a larger group; there were six of us, I believe. Here I learned that I should likely sit down and address my feelings about possibly not returning to regular nursing duties. I'm angry. But that's another post.

Lunch/coffee today was me and mom with one of her long-time friends, and her daughter. The moms visited and reminisced, while we discussed a multitude of topics; it was quite enjoyable.

This afternoon I sat down with an ex-boyfriend''s ex-wife. We've talked sporadically over the past years, and I've really come to appreciate her as a friend. Sitting with her I had another one of my "epiphanies," which happens every now and then. Without her, and without our conversation, I would never have had this revelation. It was one of those flashes of insight into one's own condition that changes the way a person behaves ever after. Just as I have used humor as a means of covering my insecurities, I believe I've also used another behavior for another purpose. (I don't care to share specifics of that behavior here.)

So how does this all relate back to perfection?

We're always growing, learning. We're never done learning about ourselves, and the more we learn about ourselves, the more adjustments we can make in our journey towards perfection.