The Strength of a Woman

This post could have had any variety of titles, one being "The Power of a Woman."

As females who have grown up in traditional Mennonite culture and other cultures as well (I can only address the Mennonite experience), we have been taught from birth forward to be the "weaker" sex. Girls are given dolls and kitchen toys to prepare them for their years of domestic duty. Boys are given tractors and trucks. Boys are prepared to earn money, support a family, and be the "man of the house."

So, men are taught to be the decision makers of the family, and are to be respected by the women in their lives, be it their wives, daughters, sisters, or even mothers.

This puts the women in an inferior position. Remember, I am generally referring to my childhood experiences. I'm aware that things are changing and men and women are being married to be partners, rather than having the dominant male.

What happens then when a female child enters this world with an inner strength that prohibits her from following the path that has been followed by thousands of women before her? This female child is beaten down at every opportunity and told that her ideas and opinions are wrong. Never physically beaten, this girl is psychologically trod underfoot and learns to hide her strength from everyone, even herself.

Depression is the inevitable result of concealing her strength for so many years. Depression makes her appear weak when she is, in fact, quite the opposite.

When this woman finally realizes her strength, it is met with disbelief. She doesn't believe that she is strong, having believed for so long that her trait was weakness.

Adapting to a newly discovered trait proves to be difficult and she often hides behind humor.

Slowly her confidence grows and she is able to convey this strength. Each day presents new challenges and scenarios for her, but she is growing much more comfortable with being strong.

So, that's kind of how I see myself.

Bitter vs Non-Bitter

What makes one person become bitter over life's perceived hardships, while another person faces equally challenging hardships but shows no evidence of bitterness?

Several months ago I wrote a post titled "Happiness is a Choice." Today's topic is quite similar, but yet so different. Unhappiness and bitterness are often found hand in hand, fouling up the life of their host with their toxic presence.

Is there a difference in the genetic makeup of two opposite individuals? Have they learned different behaviors in their families of origin? Does one have a stronger faith base than the other? Is there any explainable, visible difference between them?

If only there was an answer! Then we could all be "non-bitter." Unfortunately, there is no obvious difference other than a simple difference in attitude.

One has chosen to be bitter, the other has chosen the opposite. Yes, you read that correctly! I said "chose." In allowing yourself to be bitter you have, in effect, chosen to not be the opposite. Life is full of choices, bitterness is one of them.

Likewise, in living a life of non-bitterness, you have chosen that bitterness is not something you would like in your life.

In my opinion, bitterness usually comes with an unhealthy dose of blaming others for all the ills in one's life. No sense of responsibility for one's life circumstances is found in these individuals.

In blaming others, you are essentially handing over power of your destiny and future. When your life is filled with blame and bitterness, you are abdicating any sense of control of your life.

On the opposite side of the equation, if you believe that you are responsible for your life and it's circumstances, you are in control of your life.

I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I'd rather have a sense of being in control of my life. That means no bitterness allowed, and no blaming others.