So here I am, just past the midpoint of my very last shift at HSC. I'm happy and nostalgic and a little sad at the thought of leaving this place. Though it's far from perfect, this ward has taken an eager idealistic student and molded me into a highly capable not-so-idealistic nurse. The experiences here have been filled with learning and opportunity. Not a shift has gone by without me saying "hmmm, I did not know that." There are so many things to learn, it seems overwheing at first.
Let me explain a general principle of nursing students; as a student I knew lots! At least as much as some of the "real" nurses. The very first day that I was on my own without a preceptor to guide my actions and answer my questions, I realized within about five minutes that I knew absolutely nothing. Nothing. Without my preceptor by my side to answer each and every question I was forced to think for myself. Making decisions regarding patient care was suddenly much more difficult when I was the one really responsible. But I bumbled my way through shift after shift with a constant stream of questions.
Somewhere along the way my questions decreased and I became the one that new staff or new students came to with their questions. It was a gradual and subtle change. When I work with new staff now, I remember where I was several years ago and explain things the way I would have liked to have them explained to me back when I was a student.
As a new nurse, everything takes longer. Getting each patients meds, vital signs, and doing patient assessments takes virtually hours at first. Time passes and you become more and more speedy with your routine work, until finally you can keep up with the veterans on the job.
Idealism seems to go hand in hand with being a student nurse. As students we listened in horror to some of the things we heard in report. Gravol being given to a patient to help them sleep rather than for nausea, it's intended purpose?! Oh horrors! As students we vowed we would never become like the nurses we were learning from. We would never ignore a call for help, we would never say anything crude or rude about a patient. We would never lose our patience with a difficult patient. And, speaking of patients, we also vowed we would always refer to the patient as "client." We vowed we would never make jokes about death or make light of it in any way.
As a practicing nurse for 4.5 years, I'm telling you I've broken every one of my ideals. Some of them many times, and some more than others. I have yet to meet one of my fellow grads who has maintained their idealism.
Nursing is hard work. Nursing is dirty work. Nursing is highly unglamorous. And, I can only speak for myself, nursing is the best thing I've done with my life. I enjoy it immensely and have never been sorry I'm doing it.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, With a Twist
My day started off routinely enough; Kev bouncing in his crib with a cute cheesy grin on his face, totally ready to start his day. Coffee, breakfast, coffee, bath, coffee, phone Mom, coffee, and get Kev dressed.
Kev and I slowly made preparations to leave the house, and I do mean slowly. All the coffee in the world can't speed up the "getting ready to leave the house" process. (this is sort of told from Kev's point of view): Change diaper and get dressed. Have mini temper tantrum when not allowed to mess up neatly folded clothes. Brush teeth with Grandma. Play with tractors on windowsill while Grandma gets ready. Get jacket and vest on, just like Grandma. Wait by the door. Poop. Listen to Grandma mumble under her breath while she fixes my diaper. Resume waiting at door. Wait for Grandma while she gathers up her keys. Get in car. Cry because I can't have the crusty day old bun on the floormat. Wait while Grandma runs back into the house for the garage door opener. Laugh with relief when she finally starts the car. Start crying when Grandma has to run back into the house for cash. Finally we leave. Giggle with delight when the garage door closes magically by itself. Distract Grandma by saying "wuss dat?" every few minutes while she's driving.
Fast forward to later in the day, also told from Kev's point of view: have long, long bath. Throw water logged toys in Grandma's general direction. Ask for "uppies" and then cry when Grandma takes me out of the tub. Have diaper applied before leaving the bathroom so I don't make a pee pee on the carpet. Run around the house as fast as I can cuz I love wearing just a diaper. Allow Grandma to put jammies on me cuz she said something about a truck and bye bye. Wait at the door. No pooping this time. Wait for Grandma to brush her teeth and comb her hair. Wait patiently till Grandma opens the door. Go straight to my wagon, get in and wait expectantly. Grandma says "just a minute." Sit in wagon while Grandma takes my car seat out of the car. Sit very still while Grandma pulls the wagon around on the driveway. Get excited when a white truck drives into our driveway. Let Grandma buckle me into my carseat in the white truck.
There you have bits and pieces of our day, the way Kev might see it.
Kev and I slowly made preparations to leave the house, and I do mean slowly. All the coffee in the world can't speed up the "getting ready to leave the house" process. (this is sort of told from Kev's point of view): Change diaper and get dressed. Have mini temper tantrum when not allowed to mess up neatly folded clothes. Brush teeth with Grandma. Play with tractors on windowsill while Grandma gets ready. Get jacket and vest on, just like Grandma. Wait by the door. Poop. Listen to Grandma mumble under her breath while she fixes my diaper. Resume waiting at door. Wait for Grandma while she gathers up her keys. Get in car. Cry because I can't have the crusty day old bun on the floormat. Wait while Grandma runs back into the house for the garage door opener. Laugh with relief when she finally starts the car. Start crying when Grandma has to run back into the house for cash. Finally we leave. Giggle with delight when the garage door closes magically by itself. Distract Grandma by saying "wuss dat?" every few minutes while she's driving.
Fast forward to later in the day, also told from Kev's point of view: have long, long bath. Throw water logged toys in Grandma's general direction. Ask for "uppies" and then cry when Grandma takes me out of the tub. Have diaper applied before leaving the bathroom so I don't make a pee pee on the carpet. Run around the house as fast as I can cuz I love wearing just a diaper. Allow Grandma to put jammies on me cuz she said something about a truck and bye bye. Wait at the door. No pooping this time. Wait for Grandma to brush her teeth and comb her hair. Wait patiently till Grandma opens the door. Go straight to my wagon, get in and wait expectantly. Grandma says "just a minute." Sit in wagon while Grandma takes my car seat out of the car. Sit very still while Grandma pulls the wagon around on the driveway. Get excited when a white truck drives into our driveway. Let Grandma buckle me into my carseat in the white truck.
There you have bits and pieces of our day, the way Kev might see it.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Morning After
Of course I'm referring to the morning after a night shift! What did you think I was referring to?
Work ended uneventfully with the usual amount of post-night giddiness and the long-awaited arrival of the day staff. Seven fresh, well rested nurses; some of them even wearing makeup! It seems we put in a bit more effort for the day shift than for the nights. Our CRN arrived on time, our MOPC arrived, as did the unit clerk. The orthopedic residents were already doing rounds on their patients. All was in order in the D2 universe, my home for the last 4.5 years. I took pictures of the familiar scenes and the familiar faces, even though I know I'll be back soon enough to work as a casual nurse. D2 has been the place where I went when I needed peace and quiet from my teenager infested home. And, more recently, a place that reminded me that I was more than Kev's Grandma; I'm also Myrna.
Report went as it normally did, starting quietly and building up to a cacophony of voices, each trying to be heard over the other. Instead of the usual twelve vocal nurses that usually congregate in the conference room, today there were six additional bodies and voices in the room. We have groups of student nurses from Tuesday to Friday. All wearing all white, they tend to stand out in a crowded room. Their instructor was safely seated by the nursing station, away from the chaotic environment that we call "report.".
Following report, I grabbed my stuff from my locker, took a few more pictures, and left the building via the long tunnel system to the Tecumseh Parkade.
A quick stop at a drive-thru ATM, and a stop for gas and coffee and I was on my way. Visibility was alright, but not spectacular. It was misting just enough to need the wipers on every minute or two. As per my usual habits, I called my mother while driving. She loves my pre and post work phone calls and I will continue to make them as long as it is possible.
The call to her this morning was somewhat difficult as I could hear in her voice as she said hello that her world was upsidedown today. She asked twice who I was and then asked "Is this Myrna?" Her hearing is not improving and her memory has some noteable gaps in it. This makes for some very interesting conversations. By the time she understands and hears what I'm saying, the initial topic of conversation is long forgotten.
This morning we discussed all the things that were wrong in her world, and there were a lot this morning. She misses Dad an awful lot; she spent the majority of her life with him and is now expected to function without him. If you take the time to really think about it, it must be an incredibly difficult adaptation to make, wouldn't you agree?
In addition to Dad being gone, she feels that she was mistreated by her doctor yesterday. Her world was not a pleasant and safe place this morning. I stayed on the phone with her for twenty or so minutes. Frustrating at times, yes. Alarming, yes. Sad, yes.
It felt so right to drive into Steinbach and know that I was "home." Walking into the house from the double garage where I now park my car is so much more pleasurable than my walk to the front door in Winnipeg.
Kev was already awake and dressed. He came running to me, chattering away in his language about the events of his evening and morning while I was absent. It's such a fantastic feeling to return home to be greeted at the door by Kev.
Despite having worked all night, there was work to be done. And I worked on unpacking and cleaning right up until nap time at 1. Finally I got some sleep! Two hours is better than none.
A trip to Superstore and Shopper's Drug Mart completed our day. That, and two wonderful friends came over for coffee in the evening.
So despite having worked a full night shift, my life cannot come to a crashing halt just so I can sleep. I am utterly relieved that my new job is evenings and days, with no night shifts!
Work ended uneventfully with the usual amount of post-night giddiness and the long-awaited arrival of the day staff. Seven fresh, well rested nurses; some of them even wearing makeup! It seems we put in a bit more effort for the day shift than for the nights. Our CRN arrived on time, our MOPC arrived, as did the unit clerk. The orthopedic residents were already doing rounds on their patients. All was in order in the D2 universe, my home for the last 4.5 years. I took pictures of the familiar scenes and the familiar faces, even though I know I'll be back soon enough to work as a casual nurse. D2 has been the place where I went when I needed peace and quiet from my teenager infested home. And, more recently, a place that reminded me that I was more than Kev's Grandma; I'm also Myrna.
Report went as it normally did, starting quietly and building up to a cacophony of voices, each trying to be heard over the other. Instead of the usual twelve vocal nurses that usually congregate in the conference room, today there were six additional bodies and voices in the room. We have groups of student nurses from Tuesday to Friday. All wearing all white, they tend to stand out in a crowded room. Their instructor was safely seated by the nursing station, away from the chaotic environment that we call "report.".
Following report, I grabbed my stuff from my locker, took a few more pictures, and left the building via the long tunnel system to the Tecumseh Parkade.
A quick stop at a drive-thru ATM, and a stop for gas and coffee and I was on my way. Visibility was alright, but not spectacular. It was misting just enough to need the wipers on every minute or two. As per my usual habits, I called my mother while driving. She loves my pre and post work phone calls and I will continue to make them as long as it is possible.
The call to her this morning was somewhat difficult as I could hear in her voice as she said hello that her world was upsidedown today. She asked twice who I was and then asked "Is this Myrna?" Her hearing is not improving and her memory has some noteable gaps in it. This makes for some very interesting conversations. By the time she understands and hears what I'm saying, the initial topic of conversation is long forgotten.
This morning we discussed all the things that were wrong in her world, and there were a lot this morning. She misses Dad an awful lot; she spent the majority of her life with him and is now expected to function without him. If you take the time to really think about it, it must be an incredibly difficult adaptation to make, wouldn't you agree?
In addition to Dad being gone, she feels that she was mistreated by her doctor yesterday. Her world was not a pleasant and safe place this morning. I stayed on the phone with her for twenty or so minutes. Frustrating at times, yes. Alarming, yes. Sad, yes.
It felt so right to drive into Steinbach and know that I was "home." Walking into the house from the double garage where I now park my car is so much more pleasurable than my walk to the front door in Winnipeg.
Kev was already awake and dressed. He came running to me, chattering away in his language about the events of his evening and morning while I was absent. It's such a fantastic feeling to return home to be greeted at the door by Kev.
Despite having worked all night, there was work to be done. And I worked on unpacking and cleaning right up until nap time at 1. Finally I got some sleep! Two hours is better than none.
A trip to Superstore and Shopper's Drug Mart completed our day. That, and two wonderful friends came over for coffee in the evening.
So despite having worked a full night shift, my life cannot come to a crashing halt just so I can sleep. I am utterly relieved that my new job is evenings and days, with no night shifts!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)