So here I am, just past the midpoint of my very last shift at HSC. I'm happy and nostalgic and a little sad at the thought of leaving this place. Though it's far from perfect, this ward has taken an eager idealistic student and molded me into a highly capable not-so-idealistic nurse. The experiences here have been filled with learning and opportunity. Not a shift has gone by without me saying "hmmm, I did not know that." There are so many things to learn, it seems overwheing at first.
Let me explain a general principle of nursing students; as a student I knew lots! At least as much as some of the "real" nurses. The very first day that I was on my own without a preceptor to guide my actions and answer my questions, I realized within about five minutes that I knew absolutely nothing. Nothing. Without my preceptor by my side to answer each and every question I was forced to think for myself. Making decisions regarding patient care was suddenly much more difficult when I was the one really responsible. But I bumbled my way through shift after shift with a constant stream of questions.
Somewhere along the way my questions decreased and I became the one that new staff or new students came to with their questions. It was a gradual and subtle change. When I work with new staff now, I remember where I was several years ago and explain things the way I would have liked to have them explained to me back when I was a student.
As a new nurse, everything takes longer. Getting each patients meds, vital signs, and doing patient assessments takes virtually hours at first. Time passes and you become more and more speedy with your routine work, until finally you can keep up with the veterans on the job.
Idealism seems to go hand in hand with being a student nurse. As students we listened in horror to some of the things we heard in report. Gravol being given to a patient to help them sleep rather than for nausea, it's intended purpose?! Oh horrors! As students we vowed we would never become like the nurses we were learning from. We would never ignore a call for help, we would never say anything crude or rude about a patient. We would never lose our patience with a difficult patient. And, speaking of patients, we also vowed we would always refer to the patient as "client." We vowed we would never make jokes about death or make light of it in any way.
As a practicing nurse for 4.5 years, I'm telling you I've broken every one of my ideals. Some of them many times, and some more than others. I have yet to meet one of my fellow grads who has maintained their idealism.
Nursing is hard work. Nursing is dirty work. Nursing is highly unglamorous. And, I can only speak for myself, nursing is the best thing I've done with my life. I enjoy it immensely and have never been sorry I'm doing it.
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