Glamorous Nurses

Is nursing a glamorous job? Hardly. The nurses you see on TV or in movies bear virtually no resemblence to the ones I work with. We are not perfectly made up and our hair is not perfectly styled. Our scrubs are not tailor made and our bodies are far from perfect. Sometimes we don't get breaks and when we do, we certainly don't get to go out on the roof with a hot male doctor and kiss passionately underneath the stars (an actual scene on ER).

Oh, yeah, we're so glamorous!

What are real nurses like? Well, we're predominately female but that is changing. I've worked one shift where I was the only female nurse and not one of those male nurses was gay. That's another nursing myth which assumes that if a male is a nurse, he must be gay. I'm telling you it's just not true.

Makeup? What's that? Most of us have full-time jobs as homemakers and mothers; personally, I'm lucky to have time for mascara, and that's on a good day. Not only do we not wear makeup, we do not bother to hide the circles under our eyes that come from years of shfift work.

Our hair is hurriedly tied into a pony tail as we rush out the door. Who has time to style their hair to perfection? The young nurses with no family responsibilities, that's who. They've also got the income for regular haircuts and colors. Tonight I'm at work with half an inch of grey roots showing and I don't really care. While I believe that we should care more about our appearance, work is not a meat market.

Our scrubs tend to be loose and baggy and cofortable. When you are bending down to pick up dropped pills or to check a urine bag, loose clothing works best. It's not realistic to wear tight scrubs with the amount of moving around we do.

The other reason our scrubs are comfortable and loose is that it hides our imperfect bodies. While you'd think with the miles we walk every shift our bodies would be firm and buff, that is simply not the case. Any benefit that may be gained from our highly physical job is quicky negated by junk food. Appreciative patients and family members believe that chocolates and other sweets is a way of expressing gratitude. Would it kill anyone to bring us veggies and dip once in awhile?!

By law we are entitled to 97.5 minutes of break per 12 hour shift. When we get breaks we inhale our food and argue over who gets to curl up on our miniature couch. As far as I know, there is no way for staff to get up to the roof. As far as having a makeout session under the stars, there's not one male I've met to date that I would consider a makeout partner.

TV doesn't show the routine things a nurse does in a shift. So far tonight I've taken vital signs 7 times, given numerous narcotics and other medications. I've turned 4 patients, and checked each of their bums for potential skin breakdown. I've checked urine bags for amount and color of urine. I've looked at a bazillion dressings, done two hours of paperwork, poked a few fingers for blood sugar checks, given some puffers, and done a little impromptu dancing with a patient of mine.

The rest of my night is more of the same. And when my shift ends at 0745 I'll drive an hour home, pay the sitter, do some errands around town, and pray fervently that naptime for Kev comes early.